by autarkeia

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released November 25, 2011



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autarkeia Florida

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Track Name: Still Broken
you should not be sending me cards
you should not show up at Christmas time and birthdays
you should not be sending letters as if you are there for anyone.
I know what you’re doing. Maybe you do, but I don’t think so.
I don’t think you do.
don’t assume we forgive you,
and don’t think that your gestures will make up for hurting them
they’re still broken from years of your torment
everything is not okay
keep hiding behind your imaginary right of forgiveness
I’m not your christ. I don’t forgive you.
every gesture you make is an insult
Track Name: You've Earned It
holes at the elbows
the outside a little lighter than the inside
rusted van still running
choking smell of dust
settled after years of work in the sun
health conditions not cared for
prescriptions not filled since the last year
because there’s no money being made
avoidable, forgotten, worthless

palm trees, condo balconies
paved driveways, swimming pools
take a picture
you’ve earned it
your children deserve it.
country clubs, secure gates, detailed cars
you’ve earned it.
you’ve earned this and we’ve earned this
we’ve brought it upon ourselves
but we’re all dying
we’re all dying and we want more
we’re all dying
we don’t miss our things when we’re breathing our last breath
Track Name: Wrapped Up
this the end
we’re all wrapped up too tight
this is as naked as it’s ever been
Track Name: Never Quite Content
what will remain of us when our accounts are deleted
and all the time we spent typing into the air is gone forever.
what will validate our humanity
if we leave nothing but an ocean of keystrokes that have been jammed so far back
in history
that no one can find them
and if we have children will we provide for them the same distractions
that kept us so still
and will they use headphones and watch their shows as we eat in silence?
how are we any different?
we choose to be so distracted
afraid of being lonely
scared more than anything of boredom with ourselves
believing in the false sense of community that surrounds us
so comfortable
so comfortable, but never quite content
Track Name: Statues
the weight of a thousand pews
and the statues that sit on them
projectors, tracks, tithing envelopes, hymnals, little pencils, and insincere handshakes
dissolve all away
we were six years old with sins
eating crackers and coloring Noah’s ark
getting used to our cages
but guilty of wanting to ride bikes in the 10 am sun
with strawberry popsicles, scratched up knees
training wheels rattling their way down the streets
while friends play tag, find turtle eggs, climb trees, and skip rope
now we can make up for those days
spent feeling ashamed of our bodies and our questions

our ideas our gold and statues want to be a part of it all
something inconclusive with hopes carving stone into delicate figurines
tokens of the things we’ve created and the ideas we’ve resisted
and now we whittle it all away
each time I recognize the source of restrictive thought I’ll whittle it all away
away, we whittle it all away
and now we’ve whittled it all away
Track Name: Wait for Tomorrow
if I wait, wait for tomorrow
who knows what will happen
maybe we can go to the beach or fly in the sky
on the wings of a dragon

if I wait, wait for tomorrow
who knows what will happen
maybe my princess will be waiting for me
and we’ll battle that ogre
as the story grows older
and go for a ride on my unicorn

Lyrics by Robbie's daughters, Kiera and Sophia